The first time I did it, I was when I was 29. I didn't brave the needle again until I'd gotten divorced, and was feeling a little rebellious. I was 38. It took another 4 years before I did it again, and this time it was for someone else.
Every time I've ventured into a territory that carries such stigmas of cheap, lewd, and trashy - at least from the world I come knew - I found myself drawn back in an even stronger way, in an effort to right that wrong impression. At first it was just for something different to do. In my own eyes, I'd done and seen things a lot of people hadn't by their late 20s; at least people with small children. It occurred to me that none of what I had experienced was ever as freeing as what those needles produced.
Relax, I'm not talking about drugs - maybe it's a lesson in not jumping to conclusions. Ink. More specifically body ink. When I began braving those waters of preconceived notions, a part of me was hoping to shock those who knew me. Deep down though, I was looking for something else. Something that was 100%, without a doubt, poetically me. Those first two attempts were too spur of the moment, and I'd chosen tattooists who had zero passion and even less talent. And I went about the whole experience with an almost ambivalent attitude.
The day I decided to take part in a benefit for a friend's wife, is the day that changed. The tattoo I had done is simple...almost generic even, but every time I look at it, I see the strength and love that it represents. I see breast cancer's ass being handed to it by an immensely beautiful woman with a complex and unyielding soul. That was the first time I experienced a freedom I hadn't thought existed. I don't know how else to explain it, without seeming to present in this way.
The tattoos I have acquired since have more thought and purpose, not to mention look like art. I will never let another artist express their talent on my skin, not while Dingwell is still slinging those needle guns. Trusting someone enough to permanently adorn your outer shell with their interpretation of your expression is almost as freeing as owning your body to the point that you aren't afraid of what anyone else thinks of how you choose to do it.
I chose tattoos because they are the most freeing experience I've ever had. At the root of it, it is that simple. There are other reasons, more detailed, but they are mine. Do what frees you, own the reasons, and never let anyone else make you question how you express all that is you.
